This is How I Fight My Battles
Scripture
My thoughts trouble me and I am distraught because of what my enemy is saying, because of the threats of the wicked; for they bring down suffering on me…My heart is in anguish within me; the terrors of death have fallen on me. Psalm 55:2b-3a, 4 (NIV)
Observation
David lets us peer into his soul in this prayer song. First, he invites us to hear the thoughts of his mind. He tells God that his thoughts are filled with troubling rumination’s that leave him distraught. Very real external threats make him suffer. Second, David tells God that his heart is filled with “terrors of death.” He is feeling tormented. David’s thoughts and feelings, his intellect and affect are in turmoil. Wes Olds once told me that this is like having your thoughts and feelings in a dryer stuck on tumble. Relentlessly, they turn over and over again in your heart and mind. The beauty of this psalm is that it’s worship. David is not simply ruminating about his troubles and keeping them locked up in his soul. He is bringing them in all their bitter rawness before the Almighty.
Application
This psalm reminds me of the wisdom of Paul in Philippians 4:6-7 (NIV): Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Anxiety, whenever it comes and regardless of the circumstances, can be brought to God in prayer as David exemplifies in Psalm 55. This kind of prayer turns my anxiety from inward to upward, from my limited resources to God’s unlimited resources. When I do this, the promise of God is to encamp around my heart and mind with a garrison of his peace. What I love about Paul’s admonition is that he’s writing it from prison in Rome to apprentices of Jesus who are experiencing persecution for their faith in Jesus. These first century Christ followers had real enemies whom David describes centuries before as “…threats of the wicked; for they bring down suffering on me…” David models for me and Paul instructs me to turn my destructive self-speak into unfiltered lament to God. The battlefield of my soul is fought in my heart and mind and God has given me agency to bring my anxiety to him. My flesh, the world and the devil would love nothing more than for me to fight my battles locked away in my heart and mind alone. But as the simple chorus says, “This is how I fight my battles!” Worship! In his presence!
Prayer
Lord, I confess my propensity to fight my battles on my own. Turning my anxiety into worship is not my natural impulse. By your Spirit, cultivate in me this instinct. Amen.