My Two Pursuing Lions

From my S.O.A.P. Journal

Scripture

Lord my God, I take refuge in you;
    save and deliver me from all who pursue me,

or they will tear me apart like a lion
    and rip me to pieces with no one to rescue me.

Psalm 7:1-2 (NIV)

Observation

This is a lament psalm of David, a prayer of unbridled honesty before God that ends in doxology. After 16 verses of ruthless complaint and genuine concern, David closes with

“I will give thanks to the Lord because of his righteousness; I will sing the praises of the name of the Lord Most High.”

He begins by stating two realities in his life. God is his refuge and people are out to kill him. I’m sure he is pointing to the jealous, insane King Saul. The beauty of David’s lament is that this kind of prayer becomes a space to release the valve on his anxiety, anger and fear in the presence of the only One who can rescue him anyhow. He shoves together beautiful divine sovereignty and ugly human brokenness in one prayer. What stirred in me were the phrases connected to the devouring potential of a lion: “pursue me,” “tear me apart” and “rip me to pieces.” In a quick Google search, I learned that though lions are extinct today in Israel, in biblical times they flourished. The Bible mentions these furious animals more than 150 times. On my Kenyan safari, I saw the majesty and the might of these creatures up close. David’s lions were people who literally pursued him to tear him apart and rip him to pieces.

Application

The worst thing that could happen to me regarding an animal attack in these cold days in Southwest Florida is that a frozen iguana could fall out of a tree and hit me in the head. There aren’t any lions who will destroy me in my paradise community. My lions live deep within me and they too want to pursue me, tear me apart and rip me to pieces if I let them. I said to the Community of Hope staff at their Staff Retreat yesterday that my greatest area of recovery in these days is the incessant desire for other’s esteem. The irony was that I was standing in front of them delivering a talk that I hoped would garner their affection! It wasn’t the whole of my motive for being with them, but it was in the mix somewhere. My journey of sanctification is leading me to place of carefully identifying these deep inner lions whom if left un-identified have the capacity to pursue me, tear me apart and rip me to pieces. I am also stirred to remember that the Bible points me to another Lion. In Genesis 49, an aging Jacob blesses his 12 sons and to his son Judah, from whose lineage Jesus was born, he says,

“You are a lion’s cub, Judah; you return from the prey, my son. Like a lion he crouches and lies down, like a lioness—who dares to rouse him?” (Genesis 49:9)

Then in the last book of the Bible, we read,

“Then one of the elders said to me, ‘Do not weep! See, the Lion of the tribe of Judah, the Root of David, has triumphed. He is able to open the scroll and its seven seals.’” (Revelation 5:5)

Jesus is a Lion too. He is my hope! C.S. Lewis creatively used a lion named Aslan as the Christ figure in his Narnia books. One of my favorite interactions is between Susan and Mr. Beaver:

“Aslan is a lion- the Lion, the great Lion." "Ooh" said Susan. "I'd thought he was a man. Is he-quite safe? I shall feel rather nervous about meeting a lion"..."Safe?" said Mr Beaver ..."Who said anything about safe? 'Course he isn't safe. But he's good. He's the King, I tell you.” (C.S. Lewis, The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe)

My deeply wounded inner lions are being pursued, torn apart and ripped to pieces by another Lion, the Lion of Judah, my Jesus. Both are true. I am being pursued by two lions. One wants to tear me apart and rip me to pieces. The other is a Lion who pursues me to heal and restore me in his goodness, grace and mercy. This is my unbridled honesty before God that ends in doxology.

Prayer

Lion of Judah, there are deep broken places in me that will not heal until they are torn apart and ripped to pieces by your nail scarred hands. Give me the grace to name my deep inner lions and lay them at your feet for your healing. I lament that after following my Rabbi Jesus for 47 years, I am still haunted and hunted by the lions of performance, perfectionism and the pursuit of other’s esteem. This haunts me Lord. But I will praise you. For you are my victorious and ferocious Lion of Judah in whom I place my trust and hope. Amen.